When did I know-- really know?

So many times. So many signs. Tonight I'm remembering that evening at Alyeska lodge, going down to the hot pool by myself. E went back to Anchorage to spend time with old friends. L stayed in the room. I went down by myself, slipped into the hot tub (not a hot tub, they wouldn't call it that), and our wedding song came on. 

Ryan Adams was my favorite musician for years, until his shitty, misogynist dealings came out. Probably any of his music would've affected me emotionally, since I haven't listened to him in years. But that song. The very one-- Stars Go Blue. 

Everyone else got out, and I was left there alone in the pool, looking out the big window at the pong in front and surrounding forest. I felt sad, I felt utterly alone, and I knew. But it wasn't the first time-- not even close. And not really even the biggest sign.

Coronavirus quarantine diary: morning routine

It's Tuesday of week 5, another sunny and gorgeous spring day that we don't deserve in the depths of April. I know the whole country isn't experiencing weather like this, but it feels like a reprieve for us here in the Pacific Northwest, who are used to many months of gloom and have done a good job getting ahead of this pandemic. Gold star from the universe?

My life is very different in detail, although not in character. I don't have to wake up to an alarm anymore, and so I sleep in about an hour later. I now wake up around 7am, when my alarm used to be set for 6:15 am and I would generally awaken before that on my own. 

I'm going to bed around the same time, maybe a little later, and feeling no guilt-- midnight-ish. Getting seven hours of sleep each night is a huge deal for me-- something I have never in my remembered life done consistently.

I lay in bed reading on my phone until Leif comes into our room. We cuddle. He leaves so that Erik and I can meditate for 10 minutes using the Headspace app. This morning we convinced him to stay and meditate with us, and we only go for 5 minutes. Having that bonus time with the family in bed is a treasure. I will miss it when this is over.

Generally around 8am we head downstairs one by one. I have already picked out my clothes the night before, so I do these repetitive mundane tasks (open windows/skylight, flush toilet, open doors) and head downstairs. Feed the cats, make my coffee. Brush my teeth and shower. At this point it's nearly 9am and I almost always have a meeting. I rush to get dressed and make food that I will try to finish before I'm on video.

It's a good morning routine, and it takes about the same amount on time as my old one. My reclaimed commute time is now extra sleep. And I'm still always late and run out of time on everything. Can't get it all done, but always think I can. The routine is different, but everything is the same

Phantom slippers

My feet are often cold. I have a thick pair of slippers at home that I rarely wear because they make my feet sweat, but somehow still feel cold. I wore them this morning at home first thing, mostly because I had worn them upstairs to bed and I had to take them back downstairs to put away.

Sitting at a desk at work, my feet feel that same cold, sweaty feeling and the fleece lining of the slippers. I can't believe I forgot to put on real shoes before leaving the house!

I squidge my toes and realize it's just the sensation. I'm wearing real shoes and socks.

I feel the sensations again, and squidge again. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

The fog retreats

I was running alone in Forest Park, climbing Dogwood Trail from Leif Erikson to Wildwood. We had snow two days prior, which had melted into ice and frozen pretty solid up in the hills. It was treacherous and slow going.

I heard a booming sound behind me, probably all the way down by the river. Alone in Forest Park, my paranoia often sparks and I think it's The Big One (earthquake). I paused for a moment and turned to hear better, wondering if the sound would also knock more ice off the trees or send more branches cracking down.

As I stared in the general direction of the sound, a group of maybe six small trees seemed to be either coming towards or moving away from me (I can't remember which), like the rack focus effect in a movie. I blinked a few times, looked away and looked back, but it kept happening.

It wasn't exactly foggy, but there was a bit of mist hanging around. I chalked it up to the trick of the moving mist.

March food and running resolution reflections

Worst month ever.  I was gone for two long weekends. I didn't even think to start til halfway through the month. And then I still failed miserably. Let's take a quick look at the month's resolutions I resoundingly ignored.

Food: eat smaller meals
Take a smaller serving. Split restaurant food in half before digging in. Leave a few bites on the plate. Use smaller plates/containers.

Running: stretch
Before and/or after. Morning and/or night. Use the foam roller, MELT balls and other tools.

Ha! Neither of those happened. I spent a weekend in New Orleans, a city known for excess, so you can guess how that went. As for stretching, it happened exactly twice, and one of those was becaust Ann threatened me.

So what's on tap for the month of April, which is already half over? Well now that I'm over the week-plus of stomach flu my family endured, it's time to switch things up a bit. Instead of mid-week tempo runs, I'm switching with June to incorporate some speed work.

My food goal will stay the same, and I've actually done a great job of it, accidentally, so far this month. Instead of eating a dessert, I'll drink a tall glass of 80% sparkling water and 20% juice, which tastes like a dessert.

Running: speedwork
Hit the track once a week.

Food: eat earlier
No more eating after dinner.

My first speed workout is tomorrow. Wish me luck!

February food and running resolution reflections

Food: make eating its own event
Don't eat in front of a screen. Chew more.

Running: run through it
Go straight through the mud, water, rocks, whatever. Use momentum.

February was a success all around. I ate breakfast and dinner each day without screentime, reading, or other distractions, for the most part. Lunch is another story, because I use my break time to work out and then end up eating and working at my desk. I still think that's the best use of my time.

I ran straight through lots of mud, puddles, and running water throughout the month, and after the first couple of weeks it became second nature. The funny thing is that my shoes and pants haven't really gotten wetter or muddier for it. Several times, in fact, I could swear I've stayed cleaner. The main benefit is that it really conserves energy-- I no longer pause and then have to accelerate, or spend time trying to puzzle out the best way through. I just keep going!

Coming up: two tough ones that will prove extremely valuable.

Food: eat smaller meals
Take a smaller serving. Split restaurant food in half before digging in. Leave a few bites on the plate. Use smaller plates/containers.

Running: stretch
Before and/or after. Morning and/or night. Use the foam roller, MELT balls and other tools.


I'll have my first go at them tonight. We're eating out at a restaurant that serves way too much delicious food, and I've scheduled recurring time on my calendar to stretch in the evening.

Running resolutions

I'm starting a month in, and this doesn't cover the whole year, but here it is: a schedule of monthly running resolutions. Not listed here, because it's more of a year-long goal is that I want to focus on fuel. Instead of relying on sugary blocks or pre-made chemically goo, I want to work on making my own whole food, nutrient dense snacks for the long haul. So far these healthy brownies are my favorite.
 
Monthly running goals
Things to concentrate on each month. I'll keep what works and ignore what doesn't-- after giving it an approximately 30 day trial.

February: run through it
Go straight through the mud, water, rocks, whatever. Use momentum.

March: stretch
Before and/or after. Morning and/or night. Use the foam roller, MELT balls and other tools.

April: tempo runs
No more race distance to prep for-- bring on the speedier mid-week runs.

May: hills
Add in some gnarly hills and elevation gain. Repeat.

June: speedwork
Hit the track once a week.

July: new terrain
Search out new routes and trails to try.

August: double up
Try two runs in a day-- great training for Hood to Coast.

September: MacKenzie River 50k
And then a long vacation!