Wanderlust

I am sick of seeing beauty, of being inspired by shapes in a way I can't verbalize, of catching my breath in the birth of an idea, and not doing anything. I feel impotent. I am fascinated by everything. I want to do everything. But I never get anything done in the hot mess of my mind because I cannot gain purchase to push off from.

I finally know what I want. I want to be a travel writer and photographer. My god, I'm 31: how did it take me this long to realize what I want to do with my life? I've just spent the last 10 years as a web developer, working mostly on internal projects. Always behind the scenes, working on the projects that aren't big, shiny or impactful, never getting credit. I'm earning the same salary as when I started, and I still get treated as a junior.

Well why wouldn't I? I have no passion for any of this-- nothing pushing me to excel, try new things, or learn when it's not expressly convenient. I am not a web developer at heart.

I'm a traveler, a wanderer, someone with acute observation skills and adequate writing abilities and decent photography knowledge. The way I've always lived my life (by necessity) has become more popular in recent years, so my niche has come to me. The seed has been planted, roots dug in, and now I just have to figure out how the hell to start.