themeless collision

My nephew said I am
dressed like a ladybug.

I am posting without a theme or destination in mind, which never bodes well. It's been a difficult week, so I'm ready for its end.

A quick summation of the days is as follows: Saturday, triathlon; Sunday, Erik hikes South Sister; Monday, jury duty; Tuesday, Luna Chix bike ride; Wednesday, women's run and Hood to Coast meeting. Today is Erik's birthday.

I wish I could explain my mental turmoil. I bristle when pushed, but do try to live up to what's expected of me. So what are the unspoken expectations? There's something I just don't get, something I'm missing. I keep stumbling and I must've dropped a few letters out when I fell, so the language no longer makes sense. I'm waking up from a dream or falling asleep into one, and I'm not immersed enough yet to be fluent.

Something will give. Clouds pass overhead in the night and I will breathe deeply. I go outside to listen for the call every morning, and I have faith in listening.