high on life

Yesterday I went on a 14 mile bike ride along the Springwater Trail, which clings to the east bank of the Willamette River until it hangs a sharp left, east to the suburb of Gresham. At one point, riding along the river with wild lupins in bloom, wind hitting my face, gentle swaying of tree branches lulling my mind... I panicked. I thought, Oh god, please don't let the rain come again. Please don't let winter happen anymore.

In that moment, I would have gladly signed away my soul for endless spring or summer. But the next moment I thought of the huge moody clouds, their restless movement, and how I still get outside in the winter. Why was I so scared? By the time winter rolls around, I'll be tired of relentless sun and bone-dry air.

I don't know. I don't know why it hit me so hard. But please, don't let it rain again. Don't let the seasons turn this time. Just let the plants quicken their green reach. Let the sun shine on til it's time for bed. Let the wood of bridges warm in the sun unto giving off that distinctive wood smell. Let my skin soak it all in, shoot the sensation straight to my brain.