lost heroics

You know the game where you choose a superpower? Flying is way too easy, and doesn't count because as a power it only exists in conjunction with other powers. No superhero has only the ability to fly, without other powers to gird their arsenal.

I think I'd choose to be able communicate with all other animals, although I'd word it as such so that I could speak any language, human and otherwise. I wouldn't want to be psychic or able to read thoughts, as it would be too invasive and overwhelming.

Then again, a very memorable answer-- to be able to urinate from one's fingertips-- comes to mind and I imagine the many scenarios in which such a power would be much more useful than being able to ask a sparrow which way Superman flew. If you can't come up with any such scenarios yourself, email me. I have a few.

One of my real-life super powers is the ability to walk down stairs quickly. I'm not sure why, but I can descend stairs abnormally fast, not skipping a single one. It doesn't apply to ascending, although the some of my skill could be attributed to my vast experience going up steps. When I was in high school I often took the subway home, and it was a point of pride for me to walk up the entire escalator from the train to the surface. At the time it was the second-longest one in the world. I didn't run down it very often, though, since I rarely used that station as a departure point.

Another odd power of mine is visual memory. My memories stand like single Polaroid pictures, and if I inspect them closer I usually find multiple exposures-- sometimes only a handful, but often enough to make a flipbook with smooth, flowing motion. This power also allows me to tell Erik where he left his keys, or to give precise driving directions to a friend over the phone, or to recall where I put something deep in my sewing room closet two years ago.

This power is extremely fortuitous, but makes up for its benefit when it backfires in two ways. The first is that it does not apply to numbers. I cannot remember numbers. Rather, I remember all of the numbers, but not in their correct order. I mix up phone numbers, birthdays, bank accounts, addresses. Luckily with the latter I can see the building in my head.

The other malfunction is when I cannot find something. My mind conjures a picture of where it usually is or has been in the past, and flips through these photos, repeating in vain. A few weeks ago I lost my drivers license and credit card between the front door of my house and the kitchen, and I will never find them. I keep looking in the same places over and over. The same power which normally makes me a small hero in finding my husband's lost phone has decided in this particular case (and in a few random others) to sabatoge my search efforts. I guess every superhero also needs a tragic flaw.