we're half awake in a fake empire

What happened is what happens every day. I get up, get ready, go to work. Some mornings I pick raspberries in the backyard, or play with the cats more, or open the laptop while I eat breakfast and start to savour the cocktail of websites that I usually read during the day.

For the past few days I've been shutting down, staying home, doing less. All of my muscles ached on Monday and Tuesday, my tongue was oddly swollen, and I felt like I was getting sick.

Well I paid my dues and last night I went out. I went straight over to Donna's house from work, and we played with the four-week-old kittens for two hours. Donna brought them out in a towel-draped crate: a box of kittens! Such a thing is nearly a religious relic.

We tore ourselves away to eat dinner on NE Alberta and walk around a dampened Last Thursday. Then we picked up Erik and went to see the National at Berbati's Pan. The performance restored some of my faith in going out to see live music-- they changed the songs just enough but did a good job with their instruments. Is it more disappointing to see a band play their songs straight from the recordings, or just not sound as talented in person? At any rate, I had a great evening and Donna's placid lake presence left me feeling calm this morning, even when my alarm went off less than five hours after I went to bed.

This morning in the shower I theorized that perhaps our synapses wear out with time, and that is why the emotions of our youth fade from sharp melodrama to the slow tides of ocean depths. Technically, synapses strengthen and grow with use, though, but it wasn't a very scientific idea to begin with. I'll see what I come up with tomorrow morning when I wake up extra early for a long run, after Dan & Abby's wedding tonight.