solstice
Today is the solstice, the height of darkness. I love this day because from now on, the sun will slow in the sky and night will recede. This far north it makes a tremendous difference.
I've been dwelling recently upon what makes me so busy, how I spend my time. I'm not sure why I always have so much to do. So many people? Obligations? Range of interests? A friend of mine in particular tells me that I put in too many appearances and never concentrate on anything. Most of the time I'm just grateful when people like me. There are so many things I want to do, so much that catches my interest, and it's a common trait in my family to set your own nose to the grind.
My grind just isn't my work.
1 comment:
From a mental health perspective, high levels of activity can sometimes be an attempt to compensate for -- or failing that -- distract from some unmet need. I emphasize that this is *sometimes* the case -- it is possible to just be a highly active person. The question you would need to answer -- to yourself, not anyone else -- is whether you are compensating or not. When you start to feel restless, what is it that you are typically thinking about? What are you feeling?
Even then, compensation is not always a bad thing, especially if the underlying problem is, at least for the moment, irresolvable. In the aftermath of my divorce, I filled a lot of time with activities that basically served as a distraction. It's not that I was refusing to deal with my feelings about the divorce; I just couldn't deal with them non-stop, and things like repainting the cabinets or just doing the dishes and taking care of the potted plants provided a break from the heavy stuff. Of course, I'm temperamentally inclined to find comfort in repetitive rituals, so your mileage may vary.
Accepting too many external obligations is often a trap, too. I've gotten very reluctant to make commitments, even things I really want to do, because I have a tendency to forget all of the stuff I'm already committed to, especially aperiodic things I don't particularly want to do, and what ends up happening is that I am so harried that the things I like become real burdens.
Posted by Eric On Thursday, December 21, 2006 at 9:52 AM
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